Archive for the ‘Expert Directed Guided Education’ Category

Below is a very simple road to happiness written by an unknown author many, many years ago. The years have flown, the centuries have turned, times have change and technology has transformed the world, yet the road to real happiness remains unchanged.

Spend some time this weekend reflecting on where you are on the road to happiness and areas you might want to improve as you read, The Road to Happiness:

Keep skid-chains on your tongue; always say less than you think. Cultivate a low, persuasive voice. How you say it often counts far more than what you say.

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully, no matter what it costs you.

Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind and encouraging thing to or about somebody. Praise good work done, regardless of who did it. If criticism is merited, criticize helpfully and never spitefully.

Be interested in others: interested in their pursuits, their welfare, their homes, and families. Make merry with those who rejoice and mourn with those who weep. Let everyone you meet, however humble, feel that you regard them as a person of importance.

Be cheerful. Keep the corners of your mouth turned up. Hide your pains, worries, and disappointments under a pleasant smile. Laugh at good stories and learn to tell them.

Preserve an open mind on all debatable questions. Discuss, but don’t argue. It is the mark of a superior mind to disagree and yet be friendly.

Let your virtues, if you have any, speak for themselves, and refuse to talk of another’s vices. Discourage gossip. Make it a point to say nothing to another unless it is something good.

Be careful of other’s feelings. Wit at the other fellow’s expense is rarely worth the effort and may hurt where least expected.

Pay no attention to ill-natured remarks about you. Simply live so that nobody will believe them.

Don’t be too anxious about getting your just dues. Do you work, be patient, keep your disposition sweet, forget self, and you will be respected and rewarded!

Anonymous

Have an extraordinary weekend!

This is truly one of the great mysteries of life – why do we do what we do when we know what we know? In Australia the packaging for cigarettes contain this warning: Using this product will Kill You! And yet, thousands upon thousands continue to light up every single day. How many sit on the couch every night, channel surfing while downing a cheeseburger, pizza or some other high-fat food followed by dessert? How many continue to work beyond what is healthy knowing they are neglecting important relationships?

Why? Why? Why? It seems so logical to be able to recognize something that should or shouldn’t be done and then do it or not do it. There is lies the challenge – human beings have a range of emotions to deal with and manage or control beyond simple logic. Below are a few reasons why we might not do what we know we should.

Fear of failure. This is one of the strongest emotions known to human beings. In many cases people will not only not begin, they will behave toward the opposite end of the spectrum just so it won’t even appear that they were ever even remotely interested in improvement. No one likes to fail – it can be a brutal emotional battle, but those who wish to thrive and succeed must feel that fear and then take positive action anyway. Recognize that there is no failure in failing, there is only failure in not trying.

Fear of success. This seems a bit contradictory, but it is a very real emotion and plays out in a host of different ways. Some people fear what success might bring into their life. They may have to change friends, they may have to change careers, leave a relationship, move to a new area or give up long held beliefs or habits. Others may fear the responsibilities which might come with that success or may be worried that if they achieve a high level now that will become the new norm or standard and aren’t sure they want to keep working that hard. Still others may worry that success will lead them into unchartered waters where they may be outside of the skills they have already perfected or the competencies they have already acquired. Keeping the proper perspective is key to a life, that will always have some ups and downs, but will be on a steady upward trajectory.

Fear of loss of control. Some continue on an unhealthy or unproductive path because they feel that if they commit to a path they will lose their identity and become a drone to some system. Life really is about choices and everyone has choices, even if the only choice you have is to choose your response to a situation, you have a choice – and that provides you with all the control you need.

And therein lies the answer to each of these emotional challenges and fears – choice. If you are on a path that is not leading where you want to go, if you are continually asking yourself, “why do I do that?” You need to stop and truly, honestly ask yourself why you are doing it! And don’t be content with your first answer. Dig deeper. Use the Wizard of Oz approach (remember the “We’re off to see the Wizard” song – Because, because, because, because, because…) Ask yourself “because questions and you will get to the heart of your behavioral issues. For example, I do this because X, and I do that because Y, and I do that because Z, And I do that because A and I do that because B – at about that point you will start to get to the real issues which drive behavior.

Understanding why you do what you do, especially when you know what you know is a vital first step toward taking control, making wise choices and creating the future you truly desire.

It’s easy to say no! when there’s a deeper yes! burning inside. Stephen R. Covey

Have you become a “yes” person? Do you take on commitments, agree to meetings and make promises when you know you should be saying, no? Some people say yes out of fear, some because they want to be liked and some say yes simply because they have no focus or plan for themselves. Learning to say no is vital to your success and your sanity.

You must recognize that when you say yes, but wish you had said no, you don’t do anyone any favors. The other person believes you can and will deliver as promised – so they are now set up for failure. And you begin to feel overwhelmed knowing you have far too many commitments and can’t possibly keep them all. The stress caused by saying yes is huge and can become a cracking point for you and for your business.

Many people are afraid to say no for fear of loss or that the other person might be offended. The reality is people would much rather you say no now than find out last minute that you really couldn’t do what you said yes to.

The best way to have confidence in saying no, as Stephen Covey suggests, is to have a deep and very compelling yes burning inside of you. In other words, if you have clearly established your goals and priorities it becomes much easier to evaluate whether or not you should say yes to another commitment. You will also find that by having your deeper yes, you will no longer have the big guilt when saying no.

When saying no is the right thing to say, say it! Everyone will be better off in the end for it. Unfortunately when we say yes to too many low priority items we often end up having to say no to things that are truly important. A string of unnecessary yeses can often lead to saying no to the “opportunity of a lifetime” and often we say no to it by default.

Evaluate your current commitments – if there are some that are just out of the realm of possibility, deal with them now. By regularly reviewing your commitments you will become very good at saying no when needed and saying yes to the commitments that matter most.